Losing myself.

im-so-tired-arogyamasthu

I’ve been trying for weeks to write something, but I just don’t have it in me at all just now.

It seems that whatever skill I had for writing is dormant at the moment. It’s still in there somewhere because I have still been getting ideas of things I would like to write, but when I sit down to try and write something, nothing comes out.

I know it’s in there somewhere because I can still write some poetry (although I’m still not convinced it’s any good) so here I sit drawing a blank.

I think the reason for this is because I am utterly exhausted, I have got no time to myself, and now that I am full-time stay at home dad I have no one to talk to all day except the baby, and I feel like I’m losing myself, losing my identity.

Every moment is about her, I don’t regret it, I don’t grudge it, I love her more than anything, but I am losing myself. Especially when we are up in the middle of the night.

I am guessing that this is probably something, in this particular situation, has affected woman more than men as they are the ones who, generally, take care of the children. Before anyone gets upset, I am not saying this in any derogatory way it’s just stating a general fact.

I would like to thank Cyranny for the random conversations we have had in the middle of the night via the comments they have helped me stay slightly sane.

But over all, I feel like my brain has gone dormant and I have no control over this, I can’t write anymore.

lose

Has anyone else experienced this “loss of self” or is it just me?

 

16 responses to “Losing myself.

  1. I think at some point everyone loses themselves due to the hustle and bustle of life. What I do when I’m full of ideas but can’t seem to fully develop them is to write them down somewhere. Later when I feel like I can write, just looking at those ideas helps me. Sometimes, when I comeback I can flesh the story or piece out. Other times, I just have to wait till later.

    It seems like you’re going through a transition, transitions can throw you out of wack for a while and that’s ok. Write what you’re feeling right now or write about the lack of feelings. It’ll flow when it flows. Don’t stress it. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • thanks for the idea of writing down the ideas, i tend to forget them after too long and im not the best at keeping records.

      Writing about how im feeling is pretty much all i can do just now, it seems to be taking the form of, probably really bad, poetry
      thanks for the advice

      Liked by 1 person

      • I normally just write my ideas in the “add new blog” section and just keep it in drafts that way I don’t lose them. No problem, keep writing! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. you are welcome! It is always a pleasure to chat… You know you can always wave when you need to vent, or when you just feel like talking! And I wouldn’t worry too much about your writing… The Little One is taking a lot of your time, and keeping you from sleeping, it is just normal that you don’t have your usual inspiration… It’ll come back! hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yes, I think all new parents, being the “one” that does most of the care, feels this way sooner or later, especially with no rest. Is there a relative or friend close enough to give you a few breaks? I didn’t have that and I know it’s needed. You can write me anytime also. I have experienced the same.

    Liked by 1 person

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