We are officially in the danger zone, there are only two weeks left until my wife gives birth to our first child.
Anyone who has been following my blog will know that myriad of different emotions I’ve gone through, throughout this whole process. Fear, panic, dread, elation, joy, and god know what else.
The closer it gets more excited I get, I just can’t wait to hold my daughter in my arms, she isn’t even here yet and she already has me wrapped around her little finger. I have no chance in hell of surviving unscathed once she is actually here.
I keep saying to myself that i am not going to cry when she is born, I will not in front of people, but i think we all know that’s a load of crap. I will be there in the delivery room (staying as far away from the business end as humanly possible, I don’t want to see that) supporting my wife and all the things that come with it.
According to the Midwife at the hospital, I am supposed to be the calming influence, the one that keeps control, the one with the level head. when they told us this i looked at my wife and laughed, asking her who she’s going to get to do that, cause i don’t think I’ll be a calming influence in anyway shape or form.
ill be sitting in the corner happily freaking out, rocking back and forth in a ball hugging my knees. That’s the plan anyway.
But two weeks to go and all i want to do is hold her and make her safe, nothing is ever going to hurt my little girl not if i have my way, she will be spoiled rotten, I’m the first in the family to have a kid, and she will be protected from everything that i possibly can.
So with two weeks to go the panic is already setting in, worrying I’m not ready for this responsibility or not ready in general.
There is so much to teach her growing up, so much knowledge I have to impart and I don’t have the first clue where to start.
How do i stop her from making the same mistakes i have? How can i make sure she doesn’t suffer the way I have? I’m not going to shelter her from the world but I don’t want her to go through what I have, if I never learn from my mistakes maybe she can.
I have two weeks to figure this all out, I know I’m not going to be perfect, i know I’ll make more mistakes. I’m mostly human after all.
so with that I’ll stop rambling now
The countdown is on….