It’s been a few weeks since I posted anything on here, this is because I am suffering wildly from writer’s block so much so that it’s doing my head in. I have seven stories half finished that I just can’t seem to get right and for some reason, the motivation isn’t there to write them just now.
It’s getting to the point where its really starting to annoy me. I want to get my book rewrite finished as well, but I’ve been stuck on one part of that for about a month now, and I really wanted to have it finished for the 20th of December, but now I can’t see that happening.
Now this may be coming across as a little rambly which is, probably because I am stuck at home and have been off work,
Last Monday my back seized, and I’m not allowed to go back to work until the doctor says I can so I’m going a little stir crazy. Also, the waves of agony aren’t helping
I can’t stand up without help from a makeshift walking stick I’ve made out of a sword, I can’t bend to pick things up, and the worst thing is we can’t get things ready for the baby coming which is looking like its going to be sooner than later. I genuinely think ill be able to hold my little girl before Christmas. The wife and I are going for the final scan next Wednesday, and hopefully, we know from there what’s going to happen from there.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the past and the future, and while it is difficult to put the past behind us. I have finally managed to move on from one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life, that has been in my mind and my thoughts every single day for over a year.
It’s been a long road, but I’m finally at the end of it, and while I’ll never forget or lose the pain, it’s part of who I am now it makes me who I am today and makes me better for it. I’ll never forget what has happened or those who have been there for me and those who are no longer in my life but they will always have a place in my heart.
Looking forward is trickier now because I have so much coming in the next few weeks, so much uncertainty, so much fear, but also so much joy and love.
My daughter is nearly here, and I cannot wait for her to be here. The love I feel for her is nothing I’ve ever felt before. This is probably something I have expressed on here before, but this is who I am now I’m Dad, I never thought this would happen to me. I hate kids always have, but this has changed me in more ways that I thought possible. I just hope that my back has healed by then and that I am able to be there for my daughter.
Anyway that’s enough rambling for now