Announcement (and a rant asking for advice)

This was going to be a happy post where I announced that my wife is pregnant and that we are expecting our first child.

Last week we did an ultrasound with one of those home monitor things, and I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time and my god, I cannot describe the feeling it gave me. As anyone who has been following my blog knows I’m trying to be a writer (how good I am is up for debate) but I simply don’t have the words to describe the feelings that overwhelmed me at that moment in time.

Hearing the heartbeat of your child for the first time is the weirdest and best experiences of my life. I honestly can’t express the depth of the emotion I felt at that exact moment in time.

We have the first scan next Friday, and it will be the first time that we see the baby it’s an exciting and scary prospect, I’ll admit that I am terrified a the prospect of being a father. I have no idea what I’m going to do and the thoughts keep springing into my head  ‘What if the kid hates me?’ ‘How am I going to teach it all the things it will need to know?’ ‘Am I ready for this?’ Its a lot to take in.

Now the rage part. I have already told a few people, The parents my sister and a few close friends but we are waiting to tell the rest of the family until after the first scan. Some of the family are going to be on holiday when this happens, and I want to wait until they get back before we tell them the news. Which I don’t think is unreasonable, in my family I never have got any news to myself, and I always seem to be the last to know everything. This is probably the biggest news I will ever have to tell anyone in my life. So I was planning on telling my grandparents after the scan then waiting to tell my uncles, aunts and cousins the week after when they get back from holiday and asking my grandparents not to say anything to them until I can speak to them myself.

I said this to my mother and sister the other day, and they said that I am being incredibly selfish in asking them to do this.

This has pissed me off so much that I’m now not speaking to them, and they have completely ruined this whole experience for my wife and I by being like this and not understanding the fact that I want to do it face to face and not just call them on the phone when they are on holiday.

I mean how is that me being selfish? It is MY NEWS, not anyone else and I don’t want everyone else spreading it around until after I have had a chance to tell those closest to me first myself.

I told my wife this last night, and she broke down in tears saying that because of all this she isn’t even looking forward to the scan now because of all the grief that we are getting about when WE want to tell everyone.

It’s simply not fair. This is meant to be one of the happiest and joyous occasions in our lives and because of small mindedness from my family, it has been completely ruined for us to the point where we now don’t want to tell anyone. At this moment, we have no intention of going and seeing those who already know to show them the scan picture of the baby after we have had it.

I know that is really petty but at this point in time its exactly how we are feeling.

I would love to know anyone’s opinion of this. have any of you had a similar situation? And I would like some advice on what to do from here.

One response to “Announcement (and a rant asking for advice)

  1. In their mind you are selfish because they don’t get to share the news and get attention on themselves. Google narcissism, narcissistic mother and abuse. I would bet my life you have narcissistic or other cluster b’s in your family. With them it’s never about you and all about them. Imagine that i know a girl who has a malignant narcissist mother and on her birthday her mother was terribly upset (that her daughter was the center of attention and not her) that she said: why do we actually have to celebrate her birthday? after all i was the one who gave birth that day so people should congratulate ME! Does this attitude remind you of anyone?

    Like

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